His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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