She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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