accomplished twins. life is a go
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
