She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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