ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
