He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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