I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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