If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
