if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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