when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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