so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
