If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
