bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
its liver damage thursday
Randomize