bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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