Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have feelings that need drinking.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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