I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
