you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
