she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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