Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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