3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
