i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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