Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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