Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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