i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
