oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
