I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
