My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
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