OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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