ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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