left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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