You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.