We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.