don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
