ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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