This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
