there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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