I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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