Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just invented taco cereal.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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