At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
