Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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