So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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