OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
