i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
