If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
