What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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