All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
