Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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