i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
