I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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