The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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