There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????