Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

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(203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw

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(212): View more from New York

Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.

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(212): Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it. http://tfl.nu/q1v1

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(561): I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream. http://tfl.nu/f7mo

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(806): View more from Texas

pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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(806): pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour? http://tfl.nu/u15d

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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(651): I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me...... http://tfl.nu/ywt3

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(734): View more from Michigan

I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.

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(734): I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there. http://tfl.nu/fwws

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(209): View more from California

I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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(209): I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird http://tfl.nu/f8av

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(248): View more from Michigan

My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl

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(248): My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl http://tfl.nu/sa4n

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.

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(215): You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk. http://tfl.nu/rohk

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(574): View more from Indiana

I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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(574): I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor http://tfl.nu/63e2

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.

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(570): I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/odgi

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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(978): I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/61g0

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.

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(505): I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask. http://tfl.nu/ia8j

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(614): View more from Ohio

Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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(614): Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other http://tfl.nu/gfjj

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow

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(787): Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow http://tfl.nu/puo2

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