she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
