Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself