Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.