My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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