1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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