i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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