So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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