I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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