Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
