How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
