I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize