So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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