So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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